The first 24 hours of this whole routine thing are going alright.
I got the dishes done and washed about half of the laundry (yes, washed, not folded). As for that nice meal I promised; fried chicken and homemade french fries. I am a glutton for fried foods, honestly. I only wasted a few hours on my phone. The 6 hour writing goal was met, though not as productive as it could have been. I am at the editing stages of my novel. And I thought the 30 day challenge was difficult? Ha.
As for my mood throughout the day, I can pretty much say it was stable. A happy medium between “I want to be a blanket sushi all day” and “I’m going to do all of the things!”
One event did strike a chord with me though.
My husband goes to bed far earlier than I do. As per usual, he came out to the patio (AKA my office) to tell me goodnight. The last words he said to me before closing the door were simple, yet so very meaningful. “I am proud of you (makes hand gesture towards laptop and sliding glass door full of obsessive notes). I’m proud of you for all of this. For sticking to it.”
Now, a regular bystander would be like “ah, puke.” But if you know my sordid history with him, you would understand why this simple statement has me in my feels right now.
Issues aside, my husband works very hard for me to be able to do what I do. Being a writer isn’t instant gratification. There isn’t a steady paycheck rolling in every couple of weeks. If it weren’t for him, I would not have the freedom it takes to dive into multiple books at once. He keeps a roof over our head, nice cars filled with gas, food in our bellies, and spoils me as much as he can (I fought this for a really long time, trust me).
And all I want to do is make him proud. He makes me proud every day. Well, ya know.
He isn’t the kind of man who verbally express his feelings, or express his feelings at all, really. But every once in awhile, he throws me for a loop.
After everything we have been through, people always ask me why I decided to go back and work it out. I can never think of a reason that fully explains all the ways in which I love him. But I do know this.
I love the way he motivates me. He always asks if I have done my writing for the day. He reminds me that I am doing a good job and he is very understanding of my odd hours. He makes me want to do more, be more.
Isn’t that the way it should be? I believe the person you should be with is the person that makes you feel like you want to be the very best. A partner that wants to build and grow with you. Someone who holds you accountable and supports your dreams.
Anyways. That is where I am at on Night 1 of this overpersonal public diary series. Taking Bella for her nightly walk and then I am hitting the sheets. Bed around 2am, just like I had planned. Look at me go. See you tomorrow.