Ha. See what I did there?

Unfortunately, it is easier said than done. If you have been following me, you know that I have no shortage of problems when it comes to sleeping.

Last night, I temporarily half-assed solved that issue. You know the saying, “one tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor?” Replace tequila with “Nyquil” and floor with “bed” and that pretty much sums it up. (Please do not attempt this irresponsibly.)

On the plus side, I got about 5 solid hours in and another 5 after a brief wake up when the husband got out of bed. While I am not feeling great emotionally, I have a little more energy than I have the last few days.

While lying in bed last night, I scrambled my brain, trying to figure out how to make myself better. And then it dawned on me. Ask J to help you (and from now on “husband” and “J” are interchangeable.)

Normally, I exhaust all options before reaching out for help. I am a very “I’ll do it myself” type of chick. My mom has hounded me for this time and time again. “Asking for help doesn’t make you any less dependent.” I don’t like feeling like a burden. I don’t like feeling like I need someone. I don’t like feeling anything less than fiercely independent.

So upon waking up and bawling after walking into the kitchen, I asked. Of course he said yes. He always offers to help out around the house, but I usually don’t let him. I always tell him, “if you see it needs done and you want to do it, great.” When it comes to detail oriented cleaning though, that is where I stop him. He pays all of the bills so that I can focus on my writing career. He does everything for us. The least I can do is take on the chores as my sole responsibility, right?

But I think maybe a hand will help me in more ways than just getting the house clean. Maybe it will motivate me to go the extra mile today. So we shall give it a try.

** featured photo bonus! My husband sometimes struggles with reading where I am at emotionally for the day. So he made a suggestion that we craft a “mood decoder.” We haven’t actually gotten around to the sliding scale project that he suggested, so I write it on our whiteboard every day. This has truly helped our relationship. He giggled when he saw “no” but he understood what it meant.

For anyone suffering from bipolar disorder, I highly suggest something like this. We don’t always want to talk about it, but it is important to give our loved ones a heads up. Let the know where you are at.

Hype, out.

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