I didn’t plan on writing this evening, but it is 1 A.M. and I am doing anything and everything possible to avoid eating these muffins.

Before you are all like, “boohoo, ya whiney bitch.” Let me explain. Because that is what the blog is for, right?

So I updated you guys about my new medicine a post or two back. If you haven’t read it yet, the psych started me on Latuda. Latuda makes the second antipsychotic I am on at the moment, including Seroquel. Now with Latuda, I have to take it with 350 calories.

I’m not sure what would happen if I don’t, I just follow my psych’s orders. I began taking it just last night but the whole calorie thing just doesn’t vibe with my schedule.

J and I eat around 7 every night. I could take these pills with dinner, but they’ll knock my ass out by 8 and my routine will cease to exist. As you may know, readjusting your lifestyle and routines while you have a mental illness is difficult. One of the most difficult issues we have.

So what seems to be my only option is just eating 4-6 hours later. Doesn’t sound too bad, right?

Wrong. Especially when I already have issues eating regularly as it is.

Not to mention, do the math on that. 350 x 7 = 2,450. That is two days worth of 3 square meals. Which is essentially a week’s worth of food in my tummy. (See why I advocate for medical marijuana so hard? Some people literally need to have the munchies to get food down.) And yes, I will clarify further. I probably consume an average of 400 calories on a good day. Unhealthy, I am aware.

And I’ve already gained weight on Lithium. I am really not trying to gain anymore.

Regardless of that issue, my husband did try to come up with a lightweight solution to my eating difficulties. Muffins. 3 muffins are equal to 360 calories. Now I just need to eat the damned muffins.

So that is my conundrum. If you can even call it that. First world problems, I guess? I don’t know. I would gladly send all of my muffins to starving countries. I am not trying to make it seem like my problems are worse than those who don’t face this issue. Really, I don’t know what I am saying.

I do want to point out that I had a decent amount of energy today. I actually got out of my house and spent time with my aunt who is probably moving far away (but that is another conversation for later.) I wasn’t irritable today. Still depressed.

I’m going to wrap this up because I am realizing that I am literally just rambling about food.

Remember, reach out if you need to. We can struggle together.

May tomorrow be a productive day for each of us.