Perhaps my mind is just sterile now. My creativity has tanked. Every ounce of mental effort I have has been poured into someone else’s garden.
Well, maybe I shouldn’t go that far.
But I really am having issues focusing. Even worse still. It is frustrating.
Someone who doesn’t know what is like would probably read this and respond with “make a schedule” or “just try harder.” And trust me, I have tried.
Most everything I do is forced nowadays. From brushing my teeth to loading the dishwasher. Every other minute is spent nose in phone.
Refresh, scroll, switch apps, play a few games, switch apps, scroll through feed some more, refresh. Run on sentence? Try run on life.
I know I shouldn’t. I get upset when people waste my time, so why can’t I be more diligent with it on my own? Every time I pick up my phone I immediately tell myself to put it down.
But 5 minutes later I am picking it up again. It isn’t like I am in high school waiting for a crush to text me. I need my phone to work, but look at me, not working!
I have also been having problems motivating myself to do something that is bound to be undone. Like bathe Bella or put away all of the laundry. Or even putting on pants.And even through all this, I still have the audacity to complain that I’m bored?
And even through all this, I still have the audacity to complain that I’m bored?
I don’t know what is wrong with me. This is out of character. I feel like the depression is somewhat lifting so hopefully this lethargy does as well.
How do my readers combat this? I know I hardly ever ask for feedback, but the time is nigh.
I need help. I’m slipping fast and losing control even faster.
Motivate me, Cap’n!